One of my favorite writers Louisa May Alcott once said “I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” The topic of fear has been on my heart for quite a while. I am going to be honest and blunt. I am the type of person that always anticpates the worst. Its something I have struggled with for a long time but this year I am determined to let go of the fear that holds me back. I am determined to “learn how to sail my ship.”
As I think back on my life and the present I can easily point out things that have held me back.
Starting and continuing a freelance business is one of the first things that come to mind. I have always wanted to have a business and create beautiful things for people. I could have started a side business years ago but the fear of failure was always in the back of my mind. However, after a lot of prayers and talking with my husband I created Content and Coffee. However, the fear of failure is still always in the back of mind. I forget that I am a new busniness and that it takes time to build a large client base. I have to remind myself that we are still in the middle of a pandemic and I am not the only one seeing a decline in business. I remind myself how grateful I am for my current clients and all those who support me.
Another thing I contantly fear is not being a good wife, sister, aunt, friend, and daughter. This is something I always struggled with because I tend to sometimes be a perfectionist. I know that no one is perfect and I know that I am not perfect by any means. But fear creeps in when I feel like I am failing those around me.
Fearing the worst when it comes to my health is something I struggle with. August of last year I was diagonsed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). I plan on writing a blog post about my journey later this month. After I was diagonsed I feared that I could potentially miss out on some life experiences that I have dreamed about because of the fear Doctor Google put in me after a simple internet search. I am happy to say that I am at peace with my diagonsis and believe that God will provide.
I have come to realise that we can’t be who God created us to be if fear is holding us back. We need to let go of fear. But how? Below I have shared a couple of things that have helped me and things that I plan on doing this year.
Two things that have really helped me are prayer and gratitude. My faith is an important part of my life. I will admit that my prayer life is something that has been a rollercoaster over the years but is something I have been working on.
Every morning when I wake up I quickly thank God for another day and ask him for the strength to trust in His plan for my life. Once a week I spend extended time with God by doing a weekly devotional and journaling. Journaling is something that brings me great peace and quites my mind. It helps me unpack any fear that I may be feeling. It is something that I want to do more than once a week.
Practicing gratitude daily is something I love! I wrote a whole blog post on it that you can find here. Every night before I go to sleep I write down 5 things that I am grateful for. These can range from I am thankful that Marek folded the laundry to I am thankful for the Papa Johns pizza I had for dinner tonight. By practicing gratitude I am reminded that I have nothing to fear when I have so much to be grateful for.
Besides journaling something I plan on doing is listening to encouraging music. Growing up my mom always played Christian music for us in the car. I loved it but as I grew up and started driving myself places I listened to country music. Lately I have been listening to Christian music first thing in the morning. It helps me get in the right head space and reminds me that God has a plan for us. I have included some of my favorites down below.
Not comparing myself to others but limiting my use of social media is something I am going to try and do as well. Comparison is definitely something that can drive fear. My plan is to limit my social media by not looking at my phone after dinner. During this time I will focus on spending time with my husband, reading and starting my new hobby.
2020 was a tough year and it does feel like 2021 is going to have its challenges as well. However, despite the obstacles this year may bring I am going to try to be positive and not let fear get the best of me! What are your goals in this new year?