In December of 2014, I was back home from Christmas visiting my family. A couple weeks prior I had created a Catholic Match account. One of my friends had suggested it as a way to meet someone. I was hesitant at first but did it anyways. I signed up for the free account. I matched with a couple of guys but none of them messaged me back. However, one night a couple of days before Christmas a guy (we will call him Guy A) messaged me. I was so excited but then realized I would have to pay for an account or wait 7 days to open his message for free. I did not want to wait so I begged my mom for an early Christmas gift and much to my surprise she agreed.
Guy A and I messaged back and forth for about two weeks. We had some things in common when it came to books and hobbies. He lived about 3 hours away from me. At the time a long-distance relationship wasn’t something I was really looking for. I was still in college and didn’t want to have to balance the stress that came along with that type of relationship. Guy A eventually asked me out on a Skype date.
Let me just say first dates are awkward enough but then you make it a first date via Skype, and it is super awkward. I agreed to it because I was lonely at college. It was an incredibly awkward date, but he was nice. However, we both agreed that a long-distance relationship was not something we both were super interested in.
After Guy A, I messaged several other guys that I “matched” with. Some of these guys responded and others would respond or ghost me. I was getting really discouraged so I took a break. I left my profile up but didn’t actively message people.
Fast-forward to April of 2015. I am dealing with the stress of finals and graduation, when Guy B messaged me. He lived locally and we had some things in common. We both had moved around a lot as kids and both loved St. Augustine. We messaged again for about two weeks. Week three was slowly approaching and he still had not asked me out. I kind of assumed that he wasn’t interested. He messaged me a day later and asked me out for coffee.
I agreed and met him for coffee about a week later. He was pretty shy and super awkward. The date was good, and I went on three more dates with him. After that last date I realized we didn’t have much of a connection and saw him more of a friend. I think he felt the same way because I didn’t hear from him after that last date.
I graduated college and was starting to feel really discouraged. Most of my friends had met their significant others in college and mine was still out there somewhere. I decided to de-activate my account. At this point I felt like online dating was pointless. No one ever messaged me back. I decided to concentrate on finding a job and figured love would follow.
However, as I already mentioned finding a job was not easy and I still had not found love. I was feeling incredibly lonely and frustrated at God. So, I began praying to him. I first prayed to him for guidance about a job. He answered my prayer in June of 2016. I was overjoyed and thankful. I also just assumed that love would follow immediately after that. I was wrong. I still had lessons to learn (patience).
So, I began praying to God again. This time I prayed for my future husband. It was tempting to just ask God to put him in my life immediately, but I didn’t. I just prayed for God to send me a man who would love me for me and not lead me on.
In January of 2017 I felt called to reactive my Catholic Match profile. So, I did. I actually filled my profile out and began messaging guys who I “matched” with. I didn’t go out with any of those guys, but I was building my confidence up.
Which leads us to March of 2017. I came across a profile of a guy who I had not “matched” with. In the past I would have skipped over him, but his profile intrigued me. Guy C had grown up in a family like mine. He loved coffee and talk about his faith in such a beautiful way. So, I decided to do something out of character and message him. And about an hour later he messaged me back. We messaged back and forth for like 2 days. On day 3 he asked me out.
I was shocked. In my experience with online dating a guy never asked me out that quickly. So naturally I panicked and did not respond to him for a whole day.
Luckily Guy C was a very patient guy from the very start. I agreed to meet him for coffee the following week.
The day of the date I wanted to chicken out, but my co-worker/one of my best friends gently pushed me into my car and told me to go.
And I did. I had a great time with Guy C. We bonded over our mutual love of coffee and the Piano Guys. The date was wrapping up and I did something I had never done before. I looked at Guy C and said, “I had a really good time and I would really like to see you again.” Again, this was totally out of character for me and in my head, I thought “well he isn’t going to ask me out again.” He said, “Me too.” He walked me to my car and gave me a hug.
The following day Guy C called me and left me voicemail telling me what a good time he had and asking me out to dinner. I have probably played that voicemail a million times, because Guy C turned out to be my now husband.
Online dating definitely had its highs and lows. There were many times I thought it was pointless. In fact, if things had not work out with Marek, I was going to cancel my account completely.
If online dating is something you have been thinking about, I say go for it. If anything, it will help build your confidence, but it just might surprise you and bring you the greatest joy and love in your life.